Diary July 2020 - Walker Shootin' Blues

Walker Shootin' Blues

Look yonder comes a walker
Gotta stop 'im with a bullet to the brains
Look yonder comes a walker
Can't let'im get close so you better take good aim

You just gotta rough and tough it, have to
This day and age it's the walker shootin' blues

Down over in the empty school house
A whole bunch of them, we gonna smoke 'em out
Down over in the empty school house
A whole bunch of them, we gonna smoke 'em out

You just gotta rough and tough it, have to
This day and age it's just the walker shootin' blues

Come over little biddy walker
I got a good idea that you better do rest yo' shoes
Come over little biddy walker
I got a good idea that you better do rest yo' shoes

You just gotta rough and tough it, have to
This day and age it's just the walker shootin' blues

Diary March 2011

It feels like it's been 100 years since the last blogentry and I want to apologise. I was a wee bit hungover. There have been about 100.000 ongoings in our band's life, let's get started with the drummer thing.

After more than 10 years we split up with our drummer Stanislav. If I were in your position I would now like to hear an explicit explanantion, a tale full of eye-poking, yelling, fistfighting, blood, gore and tears in the end. Well, it kinda went on that way and we are wishing Stas, our comrade who lived with us in our van for so long and who invented 50 percent of our music nothing but the best on his way with his new band Hop Stop.

OK, then. And the ‚new guy' is Alexey Kryukov, a violent man-monster from the City Of Moscow, I would have liked to add, but he is just the opposite. Although he pounds his drums with enough violence to call him a monster. A new guy in the band is a little bit like having a new girlfriend. You have to get used to the new haircolor a little bit and the new outlines but as time passes it all works out. Very well that is.

As I do not want to bore you guys to death with all the stuff that goes VERY WELL in our lives, here's a couple of snapshots of times when we were fucked:

Kiev, Ukraine, is a super town, but not when you arrive at the main station without a single penny of cash or plastic money because the last 100 rubles were invested into nighttime booze in the train restaurant; Or if you wake up with a taste of concrete in your mouth and you realise you're lying facedown in a subway station and your one foot is twisted to the right in a very odd angle.

Gijon, Spain is also a super city, but not, if your transmission is about to go bust, exhaust pipe having come off a long time ago, and you realise your food intake is getting rather difficult verging on impossible because yesterday's dinner most likely harbored a very mean bug; And if you have to rock the crap out of 250 people that very night with that mean bug in your belly without anything undesirable coming out of your orphuses.
Oh, yeah...

Highway A 57 near Cologne is of course a really super stretch of road, but not, if you get pulled over by the cops and are greeted 'Man, you got some serious beer on your breath there, buddy.' And if only then you realise that the balalayka player has been forgotten at the filling station.

Cop: How many people in your band?
Driver: Three, but we forgot one at that truck stop there.
Cop: What kinda losers are you guys?
Driver: Do you perhaps know the phone number of that truck stop? I forgot the name.
Cop: Easy now, buddy. First, we'll take you down to the station, now. Then we'll get the dogs and search the van. There's no way in hell you guys don't have drugs.

But as you can see we more or less survived all of that and believe it or not, we made an album in the meantime. Gonna come out this summer. Right now we're involved in negotiations with the music industry (which is more or less talking to my one friend Mattes) and we're trying to shoot a top-notch video clip.
So, keep an eye out for the new record, I hope you'll find it as rolling and rocking as we do.

Your man,

Diary October 2007

On a matchlessly white beach with blue skies, perfect water, the beachclub is near for continued beer supply, there's a lot of people good for thrilling conversations and I think I can see a couple of luscious blondes approach... CUT!
I just fell of the bunch of our tour bus and my dream is over at once. I lie wedged between beercases, canned fish and a guitar amp and it's wet and cold.
There is a moist layer of motoroil, food residue and other unspeakable stuff on the floor soaking into my sleeping bag. I look out for the others. The Russians are smoking and speaking a tongue that after 7 years I still cannot understand.
Outside: Weather's crap. Through the rain I can see a sign saying Marseille /Montpellier. I guess it will be another 200 km to the gig. Have to be there at 5, I check my cell, oh, it's already 5:30. Yeah, they goona call any minute now. It'll be fine somehow. I total stuff up: 11 gigs played, one guitar broke, drums are in very desolate condition, food supplies finished, merch stuff gone (we brought too little), tour bus sounds tired, musicians very exhausted and at poor health, mutiny can be expected any minute. Subversive behavior and hostile glances tell the story. Still 13 shows to play. Only the good Lord knows how that can ever work. Well then, let's just put on a fun record for a change, maybe that old Russian one with the singing crocodile. That'll surely brighten up the day. Shit, I need a vacation! Fortunately, we do a 6 month tour of the Carribean in 2008 (30 min. laughter). Well, it's gonna work out one way or the other. Not for nothing they say in our line of work:
It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock'n roll.

Diary June 2007

Dear friends of the Pornick Casino,

it's been a while since the last newsletter and there's a lotta stuff to talk about.
Our little family enterprise, the Pornick Casino, swings back and forth between festival season, making records, babysitting and putting together our own record company Gagarinbeat. This takes a lot of flexibility. Our bassist use to say after a tour:' Good-bye rock'n rolliness, hello bourgoisieness!' That's right to the point.
The festivals go quite well for us, better than a couple of years back, good feedback, execpt for some unexpected responses like 'Are y'all gay?' or 'Is that all serious?' I don't know myself, what's serious about our activities and what is not, but dead serious is the fact that we're gonna put out 13 brandnew tracks for you guys later in the year. We're nearly halfway done with them and pretty excited, so, stay tuned, it won't be long.

To the question 'What're you guys listening to at home at all?' that I've been hearing a lot lately, I will write you up a couple of bands now that we've met or just like alot.

My favorite band at the moment is the garage pop punk band M.O.T.O. from Chicago and their smash album 'Kill M.O.T.O.'
www.indiepages.com/moto/Great, yet not for people without a sense of humor

Then, we have the LEGENDARY SHACK SHAKERS from Nashville, they're not as funny but just as good. Punkabilly, polka with metal drums etc
www.myspace.com/legendaryshackshakers, www.cockadoodledont.com

A crossbred bastard of Edith Piaf and the Toydolls are our awesome buddies of the Bordeaux band THE SPOOKY JAM
www.myspace.com/thespookyjam. Enjoy

See ya'll down the road!
Jancee, Stas, Vladimir

Farewell 2005

Most of you might know that we have become road junkies in the last few months. If I don't see the freeway's white line in the morning and the landscape is rushing by, I'm starting to feel a little awkward. That stuff is addictive! One more year of living out of a sports bag down the drain, yeah. Thank God for our new cool and comfy winnebago equipped with a mini kitchen and a DVD player. Which is exactly where we try to work on our new album which is not gonna come out until the end of 2006, though. Gotta do some waiting, buddy, sorry.
I hang out with them Russian so much I have very hard time write this Inglish. As compensation, I learned a 1000 dirty words in their language. And I'm talking dirty beyond belief. I'm not giving any examples hear, that wouldn't be the way my mom raised me.
Well, we're happily expecting the new year to happen. Of course, there's a lot going on here again, although Vladimir often says how incredibly old he feels, and that we're a bunch of hopeless old bums, but here we go:

Mexico/US-Tour (probably)
Russia-Tour (by all means)
Tour De France Et Espana (that's in April, mon cherry)

Before we hit it again and get the hell outta Dodge, I gotta refill my sports bag and catch the Johnny Cash flic. I read that the actor became an alcoholic during the shoot, 'cause he found himself so close to the character he portrayed. Such hilarious press release crap, I had to laugh for an hour, haha!
Last but not least: 'See us on the road! Don't become vegetarians, go for quality meat! Don't let Vladimir be your role model! Don't take our devil-worshipping and naked-babe image too seriously! Worship the Devil!

Best, Jancee

So far for 2004!

It appears to me like we played every stage and little bar you could possibly think of, but, look, it's only been about 120 shows. We seriously are looking forward to a vacation, baby! Our old dependable mama of a tourbus finally kicked the bucket, now we got ourselves a swank new MER-CEE-DEEZ BENZ!
We were in Italy, we took our second wrestling show out on the road only being interfered by one brief stop in an emergency room this time( Thank You Ace Wrestling and our new professional bully El Brucho!) and we made ourselves a nice little album, for the first time purchasable in every fucking department record store, we're proud o' that, buddy, in our line of work.
It's called 'Multiball', the title derived from Stanislav's way of playing foosball, meaning with 10 to 15 balls simultaneously. Thanks to our fans and supporters in Hohenmölsen, Zittau, Langenthal, Kulmbach, Bayrisch-Eisenstein und Teltow-Fläming, but also in Berlin, Madrid, Mailand, Rom and last but not least K.Ö.L.N.!

We'll put on the heater in our new winnebago nice and easy and intend to sleep for a year!


That was 2003!

What a year for us. Now, in this news section there's never anything happening, so that's why the news comes all in one big piece now.
We got 2 new guys in the band. We got charismatic Vladimir Martens from Khasachstan, also playing his big fiddle with a renowned classical orchestra - www.internationale-symphoniker.de - raising some hell with us now. What he looks like and what this quiet Bolshevik motherfucker got to say, you can find in the musicians section . Second new member is our good pal and talented manager Carlos 'Now-the-good-news' Martinez. We love him cause he treats us like stars and he takes care of stuff like naked nazi-skinheads loafing on the backstageroom couch (fact, baby).
Carlos would sure love beating Vladimir at arm-wrestling, but I guess he'll have to wait until V.'s 65th birthday (which won't be that long after all)

Coolest thing to happen this year was our killer tour in December, the Rock'n Roll Wrestling Bash. For those who couldn't be there: 5 lightskinned Mexican thugs beating the shit outta each other and we orchestrating the whole damn thing surf-style (see backstage). Apart from the awesome show we also had a 10-day-party going that woulda made a 50's Jerry Lee Lewis proud. Taking the hotel room apart(what do you expect, we got WRESTLERS) wine, violence, women and song. No matter what anybody says, our ACE-Wrestlers are a damn nice bunch of fuckers!

Oh yeah, we also recorded a new album this year. Of course, it's nothing but our WRESTLING ALBUM, baby! We named it 'Wrestle that Dude'. What can I say, best sound, best band, best damn record. Our first album that our drummer likes.

Before that in September, we did our big Italy/Switzerland thing, involving a swift, singlehandedly-conducted and absolute occupation of these 2 countries by our little RU/USA federation. Unfortunately, we didn't take a single photo, thus this bold statement is the only proof we did it. No, wait! Our aqquired language skills can also stand proof: e.g "Sono insano di mente?" means something like 'Where can I find a decent restaurant? Di mente being the part with decent, I think.

Elsewise, we played about 90 dates, a small record for us, we shot a video to "Chikatilo Boogie" from the new record and did big rockstar shtick in between.

Muchas Gracias to all our fans and friends.